Take notice boys.

Brandon Davis, a sloppy, racist oil heir ruined his friend Paris Hilton's birthday party.

That's what they are saying. But if you ask me he was just trying to get the party started. He has a way with words.
TMZ reports:

Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis did himself proud once again at Paris Hilton’s party Saturday night by throwing flowers at Paula Abdul, who was supposed to sing “Happy Birthday” to Paris. Then, [he threw] the flower-holders. And finally, after asking Paula to “lick my [bleep],” he mocked her by talking in a fake-Arabic accent. Then, Brandon [grabbed] Courtney Love and [told] her, “I want to squirt on you,” never minding that Courtney’s young daughter was right there.

So Courtney Love ran off all offended and stuff. Whatever Courtney, that's probably the nicest thing a member of the opposite sex has said to you in while.

I don't know about the rest of you ladies but a nice guy is hard to find. And "I want to squirt on you" isn't really that bad. It's kind of poetic, it's actually kind of hot.

And Paula Abdul has sold her soul to Oxycotin but takes sudden offense to "lick my dick?" I always thought that's how some really great guys just try to get to know you better.

Are these crackheads waiting for freaking Clark Gable to romance them? Well listen up that just doesn't happen anymore. You got kinda go with it and see what happens. "I want to squirt on you" could just be the beginning of something beautiful. Real love. I'm just saying I have heard some shit in my day and the words of this man brought tears to my eyes.

xoxo,
miss amor

Deny, Deny, Deny.

Okay Mother, this is for you, your sisters, women your age, whomever John Travolta makes "swoon" and even if Travolta doesn't do it for you, but you use the word "swoon" in normal conversation then maybe you should keep reading.

John Travolta is gay, gay, gay! Just look at him perched on that couch, looking all sassy.
I bet he loves this picture, how he's all matchy with the backdrop. If he wasn't such a fatty I would think he fluttered over there like a little fairy.

He is so excited! He looks like he just farted glitter or something.

The picture below was from the fall. I rest my case.

xoxo,
miss amor

Hey Nasa, are you there? It's me, Miss Amor!

Dear Nasa,

I know the astronaut love triangle thing is a real bitch. I mean you guys are really respected and you have sluts like Lisa Nowak, driving to Florida in a shit suit. I am sure you were all very sad about Anna Nicole Smith's passing and trial frenzy that followed. Then came Britney, I like to call her Shitney, (one of my favorite bloggers calls her that, anyway I just feel its more appropriate.) So, Shitney goes bat shit crazy and runs in and out of rehab, shaves her head, etc. I bet you guys are secretly happy that it got the Crazy Astronaut lady out of the news coverage. But I haven't ended my obsession. Guess what I am going to be for Halloween! So let me get to my point, I am sure you bitches have something to do.

I feel it would be a worthy endeavor to consider the possibility of capitalizing on this once unfortunate but now lucrative event. I can't be the only person fascinated by this lady.


We should set up an online shop. Selling of course the DIAPER, (this is going to be big.) All different colors and sizes of course! Then things like trench coats, wigs, pepper spray, pellet guns, etc.
And for those who want the whole experience, check it- a virtual cd where one can travel from Texas to Florida as Nowak herself and experience this spectacular event on their computer at real time with their space shit suit on!
And for those who want to take it one step further...get this, we can sell synthetic shit and piss! So they can put them in their diaper when she is actually going on the road trip!
That would be for the people who don't mind crapping and pissing themselves.


But some people may use this for a little "role playing" to you know, spice it up. Whats not sexy about a successful, shitting astronaut. Plus the whole trench coat thing is kind of good for those "flasher fantasies." I think it will be huge in like Norway & Denmark. I have a danish girlfriend and they are down fo whatever, if you know what i mean.

Halloween would be a really rocking time for us. I see endless possibilities. And as much as you may think this is going to fade away, its not. She has made it, like the runaway bride and that crazy figure skater. There will be a book and an E True Hollywood Story to follow about her ass and we need to get in on it now!

I feel I have a connection with her, maybe it is due to a childhood experience.

A road trip I took with my whole family, Mother, Father and three brothers. One who was young enough to wear diapers. We were driving in succession with two sets of my family's friends. I told my mom and dad that I had to go to the bathroom. They said we'd stop soon but I would have to hold it.

Cut to "turtle head" time. I take matter into my own hands. I grab a diaper and take a poop in the back of the suburban. Then use the diaper wipes, tape it up and threw it out the window. I did this fast and when I threw it out my parents where "like what is going on?" The diaper hit their friends car! I told them. We all laughed our asses off, not in front of our friends. But my parents thought it was a riot.
Great childhood memory.

Just think about it. Let me know, I'm pretty available and would really enjoy this opportunity to pursue a venture with your organization.

I am willing to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

xoxo,
miss amor

I wanna go to Crossroads then Promises and back to Promises again.

I know it is OLD news, older than my great aunt's tits, that as she claims look like, "Two Hairless Testicles." Isn't that awesome.

So that shit is old.

I was thinking I could be the woman who saved Shitney Spears. How freaking Mother Teresa of me.
I could befriend her and first thing I would do is take her to my vet for a dip. I don't know what exactly that is but I know she needs one.

I am getting ahead of myself. If I was to save the skin head, I have to get down to the bottom of it.

Why are you evading rehab? You shaved your head so your baby daddy couldn't tell all the chemicals you've been slaving too. (VERY SMART.) Now all you have to do is go cozy up to some crazies, smoke cigs like its your job and chill at your resort for 30 days.

Shit I know if I were in rehab, it would be NO HOLDS BARRED.
I would definitely pretend to be sicko crazy. Throwing-your-turds-at-people-crazy.
But were not talking me, we are talking Brit Brit.

I don't know what I would do with Britney Spears. We could sabor fight with our umbrellas?


You know I don't think I want her at my house.

xoxo,
miss amor

Oh Obama with a B...

A post on February 25, 2007...events occurred January 16, 2007.

Like many people in Austin that day, I was holed up all day in front of the tube (due to the weather,) when Barack OBama filed his paperwork to form a presidential exploratory committee.
I was reading, blogging, etc. and I kept hearing in the background..."OSama this and OSama that."
As I have a cunning ability to block out anything that I want, Osama was not something that peaked my interest that day. I had other things on my mind, I think Shitney Spears had barfed on Issac Cohen and I really wanted to see that shit.

Plus I kept thinking back to my dream of myself and a group of really cool little people... we were all naked in Whole Foods and totally partying in the produce isle. Mini Me was there and he was humping my calf by the organic butter lettuce. And we were in this really new cool grocery store, you know the kinds with the mist and the jungle sound effects. So it was hot, but it was just a stupid dream. I would never let Mini Me hump my calf. Come on. People can't help what they dream, I always tell myself that. Letting Mini Me hump the shit out of me probably just makes me subconsciously a really good person. Thats really NICE of me. Just like it was nice of me to let that man feel me up in the nursing home when I was Christmas caroling. I was just getting in the spirit of the freakin season and the old man starring at my tits the whole time he gummed his stupid banana. I knew his day wasn't looking up. So I allowed it to happen. I did not force him, I kept telling the cops that. Whatever. It's not like I was giving it up, I was giving it back.
Anyway, it was a freaking dream. Gosh!



So I had a lot on my mind. And after like the tenth time of hearing (this is what I am hearing in my head) "OSama is running on a democratic ticket"...Then came the Epiphany.


I turned to my very well informed friend, who led me this 12 hour cnn marathon.
"Okay so your telling me, that 4 years ago we couldn't 'smoke him' out of his caves, like Yosimite Sam (aka George Bush) had promised.
He has WMD, (not to be confused with DWM-Divorced White Male, it happens to me often.) No I am talking WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. And the dude is filing paper work and raising money to run for presidency?"
"Ya, we are right on. We can not even get this dude when he's filing his shit?"

Why did I have to figure this out?

He looked over at me and said, OBama with a B.

Whatever.

The Alpha and the Omega.

Some thought MISS AMOR was over. Maybe blogs were not for lovers afterall.
Some gave up hope on MISS AMOR, who is that bitch and why won't she post her marvelous shit?
Well the end of MISS AMOR is not near. I am here to resurrect her.
VIVA MISS AMOR!
She is back and it feels like heaven.
XOXO.