Happy Bidet to you PeeWee.

Pee Wee Herman, the eldering pervert turned a big ole 54 today!
Though he faced charges for child porn, I still loved Pee Wee. His playhouse rocked!
I wanted a ball of rubberbands and that is where I learned to make parfaits, which I still engage in.

He was the first fag, i mean homosexual male, that I really loved.
Then came W and most recently is Augustine Burroghs and Micheal K-Dlisted.

Anyway, the big ole perv had another bday. I hope his day is full of porn and bike riding.

xoxo,
miss amor

Nobody puts Daniel in a corner.

Daniel totally blames his little bitch sister, Ashley age 7, and I am fo sho Team Daniel.
As reported by the onion.

Daniel Barriault is serving a time-out for a crime the 5-year-old claims he didn’t commit. Charged with possession of three Oreo cookies only a half-hour before supper and sentenced to a bare 8-by-12-inch bedroom corner for eight minutes, Barriault has had just one thing on his mind while waiting for his release.


This 8 miles didn't do much for old Dan, he's come out of it harder and stronger.

"I may have been innocent when they put me in here, but I’m sure as heck not innocent now," said Barriault, who has served time-outs for a wide range of offenses over the years, including public misconduct, second-degree assault of a sibling, and vandalism misdemeanors when only 17 months old. "They took eight minutes of my life away, eight minutes of playtime I’ll never get back, eight minutes of cartoons I’ll never get the chance to experience—and for that, they will pay."

This kid is either going to end up with a 50K shrink bill or he should just start writing rap. He could be the next 50 cent. He has seen some shit.



click below.
The onion, the only place for worthy news.

one ream at a time...

This is called enjoying the simple pleasures in life. Eric Greeley of Boston gets his rocks off by keeping the copy machine filled up to the very last ream.
His life is now devoted to the mid-sized companies copy machine and monitouring the levels and usage of the paper, but most importantly making sure the machine is full of paper.

I personally received a BBA, so I took very basic psychology classes. But Eric seems to be classic OCD. He is obsessing due to stress and compulsing on the Cannon 4-in-1.

"Is it glamorous?" Greeley asked. "No. But doing the right thing never is."

Spoken like a true freak, but there's more...

"In the end, it’s such a small sacrifice for a far greater good. All you have to do is go get the paper, pop out the input tray, fill it to exactly the right level, and slide the tray carefully back in. I’m doing my part to make the world a little better, one ream at a time."

I know Paxil is used to treat OCD, let's hope his recent medication adjustment is the reason for the season.

"Sometimes I’ll stock it up even if it’s not empty," Greeley said. "Let’s say it’s half full. Well, nine or 10 decent-sized jobs can knock that right out, so I really have to stay on my toes, be prepared for anything. You can’t wait for trouble to come to you."

click below.
my incredible source The Onion.

We just have options...

Some Dick over at Forbes wrtoe a crazy blog about how it is better for a man to marry a woman who 1.) has no formal university education, 2.) works less than 35 hours a week and 3.) makes less than 30K annually.

Ya, those are some good qualifications for a domestic partner.

In the article, it is stated that "career women" are more likely to divorce, cheat on their spouse, less likely to have children and more prone to being unhappy about having children once they arrive.

Yes, let us all take a step back in the evolution of the gender roles and keep these little ladies where they belong. In the laundry room, or the delivery room, in sweatpants and moomoo's with kids hanging from their chest.

What scares men, or men that subscribe to this theory is women now have more choices and exposure. We know what is out there, we know what we want, we have goals for ourself that do not involve our partners and we do not need to be validated to or by anyone-


We Can Do It ourselves.


Read the Forbes article.

xoxo,
miss amor

Jessica Simpson is hyper intelligent!

Her mother speaks out and claims jessica is blessed with the intelligence to match a member of mensa and it is said that she plays the blond dumb cutie for the media, that must be the reason she acts tardish at her recent radio appearance for her killa album A Pubic Hair Affair.

When asked the simple quesion: What is the title of your album, it goes a little something like this...

DJ: So, Jessica, what's the name of your new album?
Jessica: Uhhhhh [searching], A Pubic Affair? Public, I mean Public. Man those words look the same. StupidstupidJessica. Oohhhh, my dad's gonna be sooooo mad at mee...

by being sooooo mad, i am thinking it involves Jessica bare back, bent over kneeling in rice and big daddy Joe with his wooden spoon.

Bitch, quit using my mensa line!

xoxo,
miss amor

Who would you do...Jay or Silent Bob?

After watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, I was left pondering the question which would I rather engage in relations with.




Right now I am thinking Jay.
It may be the wine.


xoxo,
miss amor

Firecrotch the lingering Scent...

Just what we need a scent of coke breath, mystic tan and Marlboro Red. You know she's a Marlboro Red girl.

Besides that I am sure her dirty weaves smell like sweet nasty head, and I have been told by a VERY reliable source that the smell of the firecrotch has killed all her house plants. Poor things just need sugar, water and sunlight.
Firecrotch the scent will be represented by the same company that Sarah Jessica Parker presented Lovely, which is indeed lovely.
I have a name for Lindsays scent: DEBAUCEHEROUS.

Pluto ain't shit.

PHOTO TAKEN FROM THE BUBBLE TELESCOPE.

Okay, so somewhere, somehow some very important 450 ppl. voted and Pluto is no longer a planet. Yes, there are now 8 planets. So, your telling me the very unimportant people here who are left merely as victims to the gas pump and only get to a choice between Bush and Kerry? These very important people get to veto a planet. That scares me to think of other things that could be vetoed. They can't veto eye cream or morning after pills or I will fuck someone up. There are just some things we believe in as American's and to my alliegance I pledge to Laura Mercier. So look you 450 studs, whoever you are, just watch what you go voting on. Don't change my reality.
By the way, Pluto is now been denoted to a dwarf planet, cast away from the other eight.

xoxo,
miss amor

Paris puts the I in HIV.

I knew she would find her purpose in life.

xoxo,
miss amor

Meredith to jerk off male staff of the morning show?

What a dirty bitch.
I know she's been couped up with that frog eyed Star Jones, smelling her weave every morning listening to the hen's cackle. The biggest nuts she's grabbed in the past year are her own,(Barbara's are small and saggy.)
Maybe she had her med's readjusted and this is merely a side affect that will resolve itself in 4-6 weeks. Or maybe she just wants to cup Matt's nutsack. Or maybe the devil made her do it. Whatever the case may be, it seems that Sex in the Morning Show may be on the up and up. If you get my drift.

xoxo,
miss amor

Who knows what he is into...

As reported by one of Osama's SEX SLAVES Kola Boof, the Islamic extremist has an infatuation with Whitney Houston. She is telling all September, when her book comes out. He said he wanted to plan a meeting and take her away and he doesn't care that she is of color. She is the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and even had pic from Star magazine in his briefcase. She said his bullshit got annoying he was so obsessed.
I don't know Osama, I saw her in The Bodyguard and she was hot. And I do admit she has an amazing voice. But bitch is a crackhead. Didn't you see her "drug dungeon?" Where she would hide out and smoke crank, smoke bud and drink liquor and just wack off for hours with tons of toys? Google it, I swear by the National Enquirer that this is true. And her horrifying reality television show with husband Bobbi Brown?
They were so effed up I won't even say the kind of shit they did. I could not even type it and that is pushing boudaries with me. I usually just avoid typing something if it were illegal but...OKAY I will give you one disturbing fact from the show I luckily did not see, but only read about. I am going to say this as politely as possible. Appearantly one of them had to deficate, so they did their business and called the other into the bathroom to help out with the finish up. And by that I mean finger in an rear end. I feel bad for typing this. Your right dad, maybe I should change the direction of this blog.
I really hope your a reader Osama.

more from Dlisted.

xoxo
miss amor

Beans and Frank alert #3- Hulk Hogan's package.

Nobody needs to see this much of the Hulk. I like his Mystic tan level 3. What do you expect, have you seen his offspring?

Does Lance not remember he gave People and exclusive interview when he "Came Out?"

He totally came out in People magazine last month. Now he takes his photos in his favorite position? We know he take it up the dookey shot and loves it, but does he have to flaunt it? You don't see me on my back with my legs behind my ears in photos. No you don't.
xoxo,
miss amor

The crackhead from American Pie is alive!

After making a couple B list movies, miss Natasha Lyonne decided it was time to start running into the law and needles. Anyway, the bitch is back and I can smell her from
here.

source

xoxo,
miss amor

St. John featuring Miss Angelina.

Can she get any more gorgeous? Someone had better clone this bitch.

xoxo
miss amor

Demi don't need no mo blo.

For Runner's, big 18th birthday, Demi decided to relive her brat pack days and snort some coke with notorious druggie Lindsay Lohan.

xoxo,
miss amor

You know La Viva Lohan is just hoping she doesn't have it.

source

All the celebs are such good hearted people. Always raising our awareness to subjects that never seem to affect their lives. You know these dirty bitches got a vaccine for HIV, so people such as Lindsay Lohan can keep f*cking the masses. At least she gives back.

check out the heart bleading celebs @ www.one.org.

xoxo,
miss amor

wrong side of the tracks.

looks like little miss jessica simpson, found her a big boy to replace tiny dick nick!

spankcheeks stole Kate Hudson diary, featuring the butterscotch stallion!!!

damn, firecrotch just won't die.


xoxo,
miss amor

The Nothing.

Beyonce's crotch reminds me of The Neverending Story and the Nothing.
The big black nothingness.

xoxo,
miss amor

Andy Dick has demons.

There have been numerous reports as of late, in regards to Andy Dick's drug & alcohol induced antics. He is seriously like a rabid animal.

taken from mandy stadtmiller's personal blog, she is a Page 6 reporter.

PLEASE, PLEASE CLICK HERE


xoxo,
miss amor

I have always loved this crazy bitch.

I loved Reality Bites, I must have watched it 30+ times, I loved Ethan Hawke then too. I even got the pixie cut like Winona. I just love her thieving ass. Below is Ryder's account on how she got back at the cunt that kicked her.

However, Winona got her own back years later when one asked her for an
autograph and she told her to "go f**k yourself".

The 34-year-old star told Ticket newspaper: "I was wearing an old Salvation
Army shop boy's suit. As I went to the bathroom I heard people saying, 'Hey,
faggot'. They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground and they
started to kick the s**t out of me. I had to have stitches. The school
kicked me out, not the bullies.

"Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who'd
kicked me, and she said, 'Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?' And I
said, 'Do you remember me? Remember how, in seventh grade, you beat up that
kid?' And she said, 'Kind of'. And I said, 'That was me. Go f*** yourself'."


SOURCE


xoxo,
miss amor

spreading the love-

the best caption this contest on the web. Dlisted

madge's cameltoe needs a socail security #, it already has a myspace! Best Week Ever.

there is nothing like smoking crank and taking nudie shots with your mom! Perez Hilton

cam's boy toy likes his herbs. Dlisted.

sticks and stones, she's made of bones, but words can SURELY hurt her. Spank Cheeks.


xoxo,
miss amor

Paris continues to lie to herself and the public.

"I'm not doing it with anyone. I want to concentrate on work. I'll kiss, but nothing else."

The horny heiress, most famous or her sex videos and outlandish behaviour said she would abstain for a year from doing the deed. But I don't think she counts butt sex or fisting, I'm just guessing.

Ya and I won't hit a curb this year.


xoxo,
miss amor

you have to be kidding me.

US Weekly did everyone the favor of showing us what a naked Nicole Richie looks like, minus her saggy, little privates. I am betting her tits look like hairless testicles.
Why are we still speculating on Nicoles weight? She's a effin anorexic, Lindsay is a coke head, Oprah & Gayle are together. Why do we question the obvious???
I think Nicole is a doll, she is an adorable personality. Raunchy, disturbing and yet endearing, just like I like em. I am for sure TEAM NICOLE, but no denying the bitch is sick.

xoxo,
miss amor

But I bet Nick is a real hard worker.

*THIS IS NOT NICK LACHEY'S ACTUAL PENIS. I AM NOT SURE WHAT IT IS.

Remember that sweet little Texan virgin that married Nick Lachey. Then he deflowered her with his teeny weeny. According to the former Mrs. Nick Lachey, Nick is less than adequate. Now that she has taken it in the butt, from most of D list hollywood, she can form an opinion about dick size or the lack there of. I am sure he does have a small dick, he looks like he would. I can't describe it but really bad imagery is running through my mind. But this dumb cow should never speak of dick size, it is just not done in modern America. It is rumored that she is really not retarted but actually a genius that uses her looks and dumb blond bull shit to create a brand and sell herself. I am here to rebute that rumor, the chick is not right.
Here are her two horrfying quotes, I hope she goes away soon.

"Jessica Simpson has been quoted by Times magazine saying "Nick Lachey didn't pack too well if you know what I mean, but I got over it."

Her diarrhea of the mouth continues.

On August 1st, 2006(2 days ago) Jessica Simpson was once again quoted saying more 'trash' about her ex-husband, she was quoted saying, "Nick's small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn't really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though."

www.celebrityan.net


xoxo,
miss amor

I hope these two are in therapy.

the lovely couple here, sunbathing in mexico. wtf is michelle wearing?
i can see it now...

"I've bloody got it!" Heath leaps to his feet, striking a pose as he inhaled the potent cannibas cigarette he had just lit.
"We will teach these chaps a thing or two about photographing celebrities on vacation and I, Heath Ledger have a brilliant idea."
"Pass the joint please, shit" Michelle muttered. Wondering again why she married this tard...
"I will make a FUCK OFF sign and together, as man and wife we will simutaneously shoot them the bird!"
"Whatever, will you then call Jake and go for a fucking bike ride or something? I am getting tired of you being here," smoke swirls around her as she perches herself on the edge of her lounge chair in the new bathing suit she got at Baby Gap.
"Yes my love."

i'm quite certain that's how it went.

Pink just needs to whip out her dick.

you know that filthy bitch wants to.
a tribute to the skullet may not have been a good move for her.