Paris Hilton's 20 bags of tricks.

lets guess what is in miss hilton's 20 bags of fun she toted in from Paris, France this week.
1. I'm guessing, now I could be totally wrong about this, but I bet one of those middle size bags is for her black 12 inch double sided dildo. those can take up some space. this is not her sex bag have you, i believe there is a smaller anal bead bad, you know they are smaller.
2. lots o lots of camera and video equipment.
3. Probably a full on colonotics system, when you ass is getting tagged like that you got to keep it clean and Paris is a fan of power washing her asshole. (sorry.)
I'm done, this is disturbing and the rest is probably her ugly clothes.

Peace Romans!

There has been an uproar, mass riots on the net lately as to my whereabouts, why i have not been updating my blog, ect. I do have a life people, really.
But when I introduced Miss Amor in may I did promise some contests.
So this week will be the first.
Contest to come.

Naomi Campbell, "Who's yo masta!"

Naomi likes to beat her hired help. This is not the first but second the incident where Miss Campbell lost her shit and smacked a maid! And both times where over finding some pair of designer jeans, or rather not being able to find her jeans.
I know when a sista is looking for her Joe Joe's Honey Cut Booty Fit jeans it can get a bit frustrating, but you can't smack domestic help over it.
She better slow down or there will be a class action lawsuit on her ass.
Oh and Forbes needs to add this to their list of the most dangerous occupations.

Speaking of Limp...

Rush Limbaugh is a pillhead.

Rush likes to play with all the dolls! And we thought he was partial to opiates.
Rush LIMPaugh was detained in West Palm Beach, CA after returning from a pill binge in the Domincan Republic. Customs found the Viagra stashed in LIMPaugh's possesion, and the prescription was not in his name!
He has dodged the charges just like he did with the 'Dr. Shopping" stunt he pulled last year when he acknowledged his addiction to pain pills.
What a big fat limp loser.

Axl Rose needs a muzzle.

I'm not much into blogging about the likes of Axl Rose, that's why I completely ignored his last famous stunt. He and Tommy Hilfiger almost got in a smack down, it was just too ridiculous to write about. But this can not go ignored.

The Gun's N Rose singer was in Sweden heading to Norway to continue touring, when Rose got drunk and nuts.
He bit the shit out of a security guard's leg, like a damn rabid dog.
He was so beligerent and drunk that the cops put him in time out until they can get make sense of him.
They just want to know why he bit the security guard? I think we would all like to know. What makes you think your such big shit you can bite people who piss you off?
He trashed his room like all the other rock stars, but why could he have not stopped there.
Doesn't trashing room = rock star? No, he had to go and bite somebody?

Reported below by the Associated Press.

The Guns N' Roses frontman was ordered held in jail by prosecutors on suspicion of attacking and threatening the guard, as well as causing damage to the Berns Hotel where the alleged scuffle took place, said police spokeswoman Towe Hagg.

Rose, 44, could be kept in jail until Friday, Hagg said.

Guns N' Roses were scheduled to perform in Oslo, Norway, on Wednesday, but it was unclear whether the concert would be canceled, concert organizer Ema Telstar spokeswoman Catarina Oscarsson said.

Oscarsson said the band wasn't traveling with a publicist and would not comment on the arrest.

Hagg told The Associated Press that Rose was drunk during the confrontation and was not questioned by police until he had sobered up.

"He was deemed too intoxicated to be questioned right away," she said.

It was unclear what caused the fight, but Swedish tabloids said the guard tried to intervene when Rose started arguing with a woman in the hotel lobby.

Hollaback girl is bringing back the Ducktail!

Here is Gwen with her new son, Kingston Rossdale. He's cute, a little red in the face like all white babies. Gwen's son with Gavin Rossdale is the big news, but I am checking out her ducktail.
It takes a true style icon to rock a platinum ducktail with black roots.
just my little opinion.
xoxo
miss amor

Do they know something I don't?

I surely hope not but check out recently photographed, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.
Nevermind, Britney does not understand personal hygenine and birth control.
And you have never seen my ass on the internet, miss infrared. (that's for Paris.)
So stupid question, like they know something I don't but what"s up with Angelina Wicked Witch of the East wigs???

Eat it or your going to have to wear it.

I don't know how many magazines, bloggers and middle class american's is going to ask the question:
"Is Nicole in danger?"
"Health crisis! Nicole drops to alarmingly low weight!"
"Does Nicole have an eating disorder?"
ECT, ECT.

Okay, lets just make common sense and figure this out here.
It is public knowledge that Niocle is a recovered herion addict. So she just has a tendancy toward drugs and additction.
Her on again off again fiance, DJ AM has had gastric bypass surgery. That means his shit is all cut up and he can only eat tiny amounts of food, and that would have an effect on her. Besides that he's a freakn DJ. What do DJ's do, party? Drugs? After hours parties and then to the real after hour party?
I mean really is it that hard to put together.
NICOLE RICHIE DOES DRUGS AND IS ANOREXIC.
I hope I have cleared that up.
Oh and to relate to the headline, Eat it or your going to wear it.
Maybe Lionel should grab his nuts and tell his Diva daughter that she has to eat it or she's going to wear it. Be hardcore, tell the little troll its fear factor style. This is a tried and proven child health technique. Nicole needs the threat, she is obviously not making good choices. She needs an ultimatum. I think she prefers Chloe and Stella McCartney, so this might scare some calories into her.
Hey "We're Country!"

Someone control the animals!

PETA activist, Pamela Anderson is loaning her famous bod to aid PETA awareness, by posing nude in the store window of Stella McCartney's New York boutique, as reported by E entertainment.

I don't know if anyone has seen Pamela Anderson lately, or maybe looked her in the face. The bitch looks like she needs a vetrinarian grade dipping.

Well, once the animals got wind of her intentions, there have been reports of self induced violence and animal suicide.
A walrus yanked out his teeth in defeat. Several giraffes have snapped their own necks, the animals are furious.

HEY PETA,
Naked Pamela Anderson is nice for calenders, posters, anything with photo reimaging, to say it nicely. Really there needs to be a team of people to make her look human.
Unless you plan to have a staff of activist ready to hold her ass in place, not to mention the two objects she has placed on her chest. Point is gravity has hit and she may not be very honest with herself as to her nudie asperations.
At least she will have makeup on, even if shes sans clothing, then we will be spared the naked dead falling apart Pamela Anderson. Rest assuered she will have her face on.

Words of wisdom from Jenny Mccarthy.

“My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”
Jenny Mccarthy.

It wasn't Mr. T fools!

Somehow the hip hop community has gotten all the credit for the "Piece and Chain."
The bigger the piece on the big chain the badder the rapper.
Starting with Mr. T, they straight up stole this look from the Pope!




Ya whatever Tu Pac, look at the Pope, with his hands in the air, cause he's a true playa.

Seal hit it!

Fifty cent better watch out, it appears Seal has the magic stick. According to US Weekly, Heidi is preggers once again. This is her 3rd child, she has two with her hubby Seal and one with some other dude. I've read that Heidi is freaky deaky and prefers it in the rear, but appearantly she'll take it anyway, because she's popping kids at a record pace. I know that this is vain and rude of me and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, blah blah blah. But my visual of Seal's crazy messed up O face won't leave!

The couple that farts together stays together.

Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy are now offically an item, or an items once again, or just having all night fart marathons.
I can imagine their evenings consisting of visiting websites like www.ratemypoo.com, pulling each others fingers, picking each others scabs, comparing boogers, making the most disturbing faces at each other.
Oh and I bet they are the type of couple that drop the kids off at the pool and pop their zits in front of each other.
They are making me feel dirty.

Namibians are thanking God, y'all!

It was previously reported that Britney Spears was preparing to travel to Namibia to spit out her next booboo. It seemed that the privacy Angelina Jolie and the Jolie-Pitt familia received while in Africa inspired Britney to seek out the same type of refuge.
But Namibia didn't want her skank ass having her booboo's (translates to children in "country,") in Africa.
The community got together rallying against her arrival. Women savegely ripped their own uterus from their bodies and burned them in defense! Marijuana growers burned their crops in protest against K-Fed's arrival. Farmer's began hoarding crops at the thought of Britney eating through small villages. Local musicans torched themselves in flames with the mere thought of K-Fed and Britney's music!

Britney's rep. later reported the couple had no plans to relocate to Africa, the story was untrue.

"Now that's a big bitch!"

www.msnbc.com

America's sweetheart is lovin the married life.

"Hot sex, no sleep, sex all the time, lots of jewerly, more sex."

Sandra Bullock JOKING on what life is like to be married to Jesse James.

Hmmm.

source US Weekly

PETA members are like hippie gangstas!

PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals punked Beyonce!
This is how it went down.
PETA purchased ebay tickets for a night of dinner with Miss Crazy in Love, while representing themselves as fans. When they were all seated at Nobu, a New York hotspot, PETA got krunk on her ass.
Beyonce, her mother and younger sister watched in awe as these maniacs wiped out a video of filmage showing horrifying acts of violence these animals endure. These ppl were screaming about chinchillas (sp?) and stuff. They were and have been trying to get her to stop the use of fur in her clothing line and wardrobe, and decided to punk her at Nobu.

Damn, Beyonce just wanted to get her eat on.
I don't know Jay Z, he may be some east or west coast fool. PETA may have picked on the wrong fashionista.
They caused a scene in front of Jennifer Lopez's Sweetface headquarters and Heather Mills Nudie Photos McCartney got all psycho and knocked her own leg off!

www.peta.org

Toni and her chocolate rounds!!

Toni Braxton and her black nipple at a World Cup event.
I'm going to try not to post about peoples private parts for a bit, I am messed up over the whole Carnie thing.
I'm not really a perv, it just makes for funny blogging.

pic from perezhilton.com

Don't you hate it when you lose your a-hole?

Carnie Wilson, most famous for her gastic bypass surgery, is now talking about the other sugeries she as had. Including procedures to remove gobs of excess fatness and recently getting a VAGINA LIFT. WTF? Can't we keep somethings to our big fat selves? Nobody wants to think about Carnie Wilson's vagina and its even a more disturbing thought to consider that she had it taken UP (WTF?) six inches. I really don't get it, so when she was fat her vagina was very tall? She doesn't stop there with the sick shit, she claims she couldn't find her ass the first time she tried to wipe it. I am not making this up, I am not this sick. I wonder if they took it off, like they do to nipples sometimes in a breast lift. Can you imagine being in the room when some poor doctor was sewing Carnie's private parts back to human proportions while her ahole is on some tray waiting to be relocated?
Good morning!

"We're Country!" quote by Britney Spears, defending her parenting.

I was bored and watched Britney Spears on NBC last night. It was actually very funny and interesting.

Britney looked hideous. A huge pregnant tranny freak.
She looked like she wakes up every morning, makes a chorizo and cheeto smoothie before she eats half a loaf of white bread for breakfast.
She seriously needs some Evian and some professional help.
The funniest comments I have read about her were of course on Dlisted.com, I swear that guy is hilarious.
In this particular photo Ms. Spears was snottin on her lil dumb country self, crying about the paparazzi.
But y'all don't worry, she ain't going nowhere, she is coming back to the music scene, when her "booboos" get a little older.
That is how she refers to her children.
Okay, enough, its early.
Read the Dlisted interview account.

Britney Spears is the new birth control.

I think in the picture dictionary this is the definition of blubbering. Britney is crying her little pea pickin heart out to Matt Lauder about how hard the media is on her and how she just wants to be a mother and wife. ect, ect, ECT.
I don't know if I will tune (tonight, NBC) into this one or not. But I hope all those little bumpkins from Britney's hometown and likewise tune in, this should scare some dick out of them. This woman was a mega popstar, she is like a pop icon and she looks like a pregnant tranny who lives for moonpies.

165 fecal eliminations is quite a crowd.

It makes you wonder on how many summer days you have blissfuly dove for pennies and peed in the swimming pool, unaware of your surroundings.

thank you the onion.
SIOUX FALLS, SD—Jenny Hoyer, 7, spent all Sunday afternoon playing to the point of exhaustion in the swimming pool of the Highway 90 BestInn, cheerfully ignorant of the pool's ignominious history. "Aw, man! I swallowed some water!" said Hoyer, who would most likely have vomited had she known about the pool's 165 instances of fecal elimination, 34 instances of intercourse, or three instances of guests' bodies found drowned and decomposing. "Tastes awful, like bleach. And really salty," she added. Hoyer's parents were also blissfully unaware of their daughter's involvement with the storied pool, because they were otherwise occupied in the same bed in which the Sioux Falls Ripper bound, gagged, and butchered three Cub Scouts in 1998.

Screech needs 250k or he's packing, Oh and he's PACKIN!?!

Screech from Saved by the Bell, recently told Howard Stern in an interview that he is going to have his home forclosed on in 30 days!
I guess he's been waiting for a reunion movie or something, but he owes 250K!
He wants people to buy some D-shirt, at 15$ to raise money for his house.
But here's the good part.
He claims to have a 10 inch cock.
That's what screech says.
Anyway so the moral is Screech may be a homeless man with ten inches of Screechness.
Maybe he should contact Heidi Fleiss, have a child celebrity portion of her stud farm. That's original, maybe Webster could get in on it, that might make me take a little trip.

Only 2 more years to laugh at him.

President George W. Bush made a utter ass of himself with ease once again, during a press interview.
As he initiated conversation with a certain reporter, he asked if the gentleman would mind removing his sun glasses when asking him a question.
Because thats the proper thing to do young man.
Turns out he is blind and these are his blind people dark glasses.
Why must he humiliate myself and himself over and over again? I always feel a twinge of embarrasement when he makes himself look like a tard, I feel I am an enabler or something. Just by being part of his crooked system.
Anyway, the reporter was Peter Wallstein.
And our president is an asshole.

Darma went ape shit.

Little miss Jenna Elfman, a scientologist, and star of Darma and Greg, totally lost it when she saw John Roecker wearing this shirt in Los Feliz recently. Below is a report posted earlier by Dlisted.


According to Roecker, whose encounter was first reported on LA's KROQ-FM's Kevin and Bean Show, the invective started to fly after he made several references to Scientology theology and its reported central tenant, the story of Xenu.

Roecker says Jenna repeatedly said "What crimes have you committed?" and began screaming at Roecker, "Have you raped a baby?" as motorists on Los Feliz Boulevard drove by in snarled traffic.

Roecker says it appears that Bodhi Elfman prepared to take a swing at him, but thought against it.

Bizarrely, Roecker also says that the Elfmans had a young, twenty-something male companion with them whom they continually instructed to move away and cover his ears whenever references to Xenu were made.


Whats with the "have you raped a baby?" remark? The fact that she thinks that way is more destrubing than the tshirt. It was reported her husband had his shirt off like it may turn rowdy. Like her little hobbit hubby was gonna do something. These two need to retreat.
Let's just pray to xenu that Jenna gets her tubes tied, she shouldn't be bringing humans into this world.

Update**
You have got to be kidding me, it is now being reported that the whole crazy baby rape comment that was so effed up is just normal dialect between scientologist. They are corrected that way. The leaders ask fellow scientologist this when they have misbehaved? That's totally screwed up.

David Gest is a dirty bird.

As reported by Page Six, David Gest's personal assistant, Charles Beyer is suing his ass for being just plain foul.
Supposedly Mr. Gest participated in the following:
"made sexual gestures from the beginning, forcing me to use his computer in the master bathroom, making comments such as, 'You have a small [sex organ], I bet,' [and] grabbing my butt." Beyer claims Gest also "wrote in my calendar on numerous occasions," leaving directions such as, "Shake my penis, make sure it feels good," wash it "in hot water" and "dip it in chocolate fudge."

Ha ha! David wants his dong dipped in chocolate! And the "you have a small dick, i bet." thats crazy shit!

source Page Six

I should sue Pier 1 for this!

I have recently purchased a mirror that needs to be hung and is leaned against the wall. I don't know how or why but when I walk past it, it looks like a funny mirror. I thought I saw Brit's thighs earlier. That is not cool, I flipped my shit.
Pier 1 need not be messing with people like this, what if I had offed myself?
I would have died thinking my thighs looked like Britney Spears, died in vain.

brits hooker pic

They shouldn't bring a baby into it.

I worry about Jennifer Aniston. I'm betting she's a little unstable.
First the Brad Pitt thing.
With the whole Angelina thing.
Then the freakin Shiloh thing.
People magazine had to bitch slap her the next week.
Bloggers are reporting that the Jolie-Pitt clan would not return her congratulations call.
I think Vince Vaughn is adorable and I would pick him over Brad Pitt in a second, but whatever.
Various sources are saying that Jennifer wants to quit smoking and is convinced that the only way her and Vince will is if she gets knocked up.
Now that's not good sense, to quit your vices. You don't create a life to stop your own bad habit.
Jen was reported in an interview saying that she thought the best way to stay friends and end a relationship the right way is to have closure.
I'm sure she neve got that with Angie in the picture.
And then I read on a blog earlier that she was planning to meet them face to face for some closure.
I sure hope this is not true. Angelina is no one to mess with and Brad is so under her hypnotic vagina spell that this could be bad for Jen.
If I were her I would consider the whole Africa stint some closure.

I know, I know...LOVE IS BLIND,

I love Cynthia Nixon, shes a talented and interesting woman. Her partner here, Christine Marinoni is also interesting.
I don't know but if I were to involve myself a lesbian relationship, the bitch would be hot. We would be hot lipstick lesbians. This dyke hurts my eyes.
Ok, this is my question:
Christine has tits, she probably tapes down, but she has tits.
She probably stuffs her briefs, I am sure the buldge makes her feel more secure.
I understand the whole role thing in gay relationships, there is usually a more femine and masculine partner. But what I don't understand is why a woman would turn lesbian with a very ugly version of a man. I thought she didnt want a man and what she got is worse than a man. I think we need hotter lesbians, so this kind of shit doesnt go on.

pic

I don't know.

I could never really put my finger on what made me feel creepy about Brokeback Mountain. It's not that I have any problems with gays or lesbians. Whatever. I really care less about two naked people and what they do. But I kept hearing about this scene where Heath spits on Jakes ass and gives it to him. The thing about it is these days gay men are clean and have nice pretty butt action, but spitting on someones ass in the woods sounds so sick to me. I am sure I'll breakdown and rent brokedown, but I will have to cover my eyes when Heath lubes Jake up with a loogie.

Pray for the puppies!

How messed up is this:

A woman is accused of repeatedly hitting a dog breeder on the head with a dead Chihuahua puppy because she was upset it had died.

The Wentzville woman, 33, whose name was being withheld pending charges, told police that she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before the woman could return the puppy, it died.

Police gave this account:

The woman went to the breeder's home in St. Peters about 5:45 a.m. Wednesday. She pushed her way in and began fighting with the breeder and pulling her hair as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy. The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house, but on the front porch, the woman hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, police said.

A neighbor heard the commotion and asked the breeder if she needed help. The breeder told the neighbor to call police, and the woman retreated to her car with the carcass. As she pulled away, the woman waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.

The breeder did not seek medical attention, police said, but she and two other people in the home got temporary orders of protection against the dog owner. The breeder declined to comment, and the dog owner could not be reached. Police did not know the weight of the dead puppy, but a Chihuahua weighs just 2 to 6 pounds when grown.

Police said they are applying for felony burglary charges against the dog owner, for entering the home, and misdemeanor assault charges.

Source

That's awesome. Why is the breeder selling shitty little sick puppies? If the dog was not already dead maybe this would be wrong, but the puppy is in puppy heaven, sniffing a crotch, loving life.
I was told that when dogs die they release bodily fluids, i hope that puppy squirted all over the breeder. To me this would make it kind of even.

I hope Jen's not a cutter.

Hell to the No Mark Twain!

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-Mark Twain

I don't know where his dick is. It looks like the part of the potato that you have to cut off.
If he does infact have a penis, does he roll it out and dust it off after a full frontal day at the beach?
Or is it sandy and crusty. eh, crusty cock.
I'm thinking the latter.
Can you imagine him in the sack? I am guessing there is little to no penetration. I mean it's just too much work.
You'd have to be an optimistic and a hard worker.
I just am wondering where that dick is.
His balls appear to be at large as well.
Funny from the dick down or small protuberance down it looks like Britney Spears.
Put your hand over the screen right above his shaft. Look at those thighs, its Brit Brit.